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Getting over a betrayal is an “inside job”. Although it’s hard to believe at first, the other party, the betrayer, is insignificant – only a trigger for important inner work. The challenge for this type of inner work is to heal the pain of separation and return to connection/wholeness.
Throughout the ages, in many cultures, rites of passage for transformation work were given incredible attention and respect. Unfortunately, as we navigate through life’s challenges in modern times, healing help in the form of guided initiations is no longer available to most of us.
Tapping into universal spiritual teachings puts our personal stories into perspective. Whether we recognize it or not, with a shattering betrayal experience, we have been thrust into the “granddaddy” of initiations.
Initiations are understood as spiritual awakenings. They are a process by which we pass from one state of understanding and perception into another. Initiates gain character and wisdom through the three phases of transition - separation, transformation, and renewal (also known in a larger context as life, death, and rebirth).
Looking at an initiation model for trust problems, we see the separation phase in relationships lost or damaged; the transformation phase in shifts of energy (thoughts, emotions, beliefs); and at the end, the renewal phase in the form of attainment of approval of self or SELF TRUST.
The separation phase of an initiation includes sudden and severe loss, along with emotional tests and trials – an area where the betrayed could easily get stuck. Viewing the transition as a betrayal-to-trust initiation allows us to reframe the psychological ordeals as “tests” in a timeless, archetypal process. If we can see the meaning in our suffering, an opportunity exists to break the betrayal pattern.
As the old is released, a new way of being slowly emerges. To enable this healthy change, major energy shifts take place. Self-healing techniques, such as the ones shared on this site, are valuable energy aids during this transformation phase.
A successful initiation ends with renewal. As a result of hard-gained wisdom, and with inner power restored, the initiate steps out confidently into “Life”. Those who have completed the transition are accompanied by feelings of safety, acceptance, and self respect - a bright future awaits!
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What is betrayal? Read explanation on Home page.
Help process the betrayal by understanding the pattern.
Check out helpful links, music, and books on Resources page.
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Ancient Celtic initiation symbol
Image courtesy of Bradley W. Schenck
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Poem
there and back
in the crevices of night
the awake times
imagination unfurls into reality
smashes
everything stripped
to its shadow
landscape of moving mirrors
given all the means and ways
the lacey membranes
you walk the ghost lane
there is no
going back
© 2007 Patti Sinclair
Used by permission
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